Sunday, June 20, 2010

new start

I ate so much today.
I want to explode.
I think it's because I had a fight with my love.
I feel like a giant cow.
I am going crazy.

My love says he can't handle an eating disorder.
I say I don't have one.
He asks what I ate yesterday.
I tell him.
He gets mad.

Starting tomorrow I am going on a fast.
Only 100% juice.
And water.
And lettuce.
Nothing else.

I am going to have a hard time with this.
My love already told me I was not allowed to do it.
But I am going to do it anyway.
If I don't get the fat out of my body I am going to kill myself.
I can't handle it anymore.

I am starting my fast tomorrow.
I'm going for five days to start.
Then I will see how much I weigh.
Then I will do another fast for ten days.
After that I will not take in more than 500 cal a day.

1 comment:

Ana's Girl said...

It's so hard when someone you love tries to get you to eat. Try to explain to him that you feel much better if you don't eat. Just try to have a full explanation (as much as you can) ready for him to answer his questions. It might help for him to understand it more... i hope it works, dearie.