starting over

The last few weeks have been hard.
I have been really depressed.
I'm starting new.
Starting over.
Today.

I am making new goals.
I am starting a new fast.
I am going to stick to me new fast.
I am going to reach my ultimate goal weight.
I am going to be happy with myself one day.

I'm not going to drink tonight because I took a pill.
I can't see straight so I think that means I should go lie down.
I feel like I'm floating.
With every breath I take I feel something fluttering in my chest.
My fingers feel like they ave minds of their own.

I'm not thinking straight.
Sometimes I think/know I'm losing my mind.
I hope it not true.
I don't think I could live as a crazy person.
I am probably making no sense at all.

It's late and I have a bunch of shit to do tomorrow.
I will write tomorrow and update all the time I missed.
I have to keep writing.
It gives me motivation to stay hungry.
I have to stay hungry.